Those Crafty Chakos

Last night was my second foray into merging this fantasy world of poker blogging with the concept that there are real live people behind these things. Simply put: I played poker with bloggers last night.

MHG was kind enough to host the rag tag crew of Seattle bloggers + 1 guy from our moose-loving neighbors up north. I'd had the pleasure of meeting most of them at Cayne's place last year but this gathering got me acquainted with PirateLawyer, Zeem, and The Doc. Add The Wife and the Ambiguously Gay Duo (not confirmed, but I've only once seen them apart. Hmmm?), throw in some drinks and some highly regarded guacamole, and we soon found ourselves in some form of a poker game.

The night started off with a bang when PL became the Gigli only a couple hands in when his 9-high flush couldn't find a one-outer vs MHG's K-high flush. That wasn't the bad beat though; it was MHG not being able to triple up since Zeem somehow found a way to fold his Q-high flush.

Knowing that I was going sober the whole night, I would have no excuse for bad play other than pure donkery, so I tried to play a solid game. I found my 2nd AK of the night, and after The Wife limped UTG, I put in a healthy bet to see where I was at. Once it got back to her, she immediately shoved all-in. I got in a couple of hands against her last year, and I figured her to be a tight player. In other circumstances, I might find a fold here, but in a $10 blogger game, with that radiant face staring back at me (among other things), I matched her bet, fully expecting to find myself dominated against AA or KK, maybe QQ at worst.

Nope. KJo. I caught her trying to make a move on me (very flattered, btw). I paired my A on the flop, but a T also gave her 4 outs to the gutshot. Of course, 2 of those Queens finished out the board, and my stack was devastated.

I fought back my way with a series of pushes, some with good cards (88, AK) some with not so good cards (86 sooted). Luckily, I only got called when I had the good cards, and I somehow managed my way to not just avoid the bitter 3rd place prize of $5 but actually making profit, finishing only behind Cayne.

At this point, others were very much inebriated. Cayne was making equally inappropriate and hilarious jokes, Zeem was confessing to being a 42 year old virgin, The Doc was trying to raise hands he wasn't even in, and I think MHG and The Wife were playing a game of grab-ass in the living room. A lack of sobriety had to be the explanation for all of this, not to mention the reason no one objected to the idea of a limit HORSE game (only more O and no R). I should have spoke up but, well, like most bad ideas, it seemed like a good one at the time.

Starting with the H, I began the game with a pair of Aces UTG. I put in a raise, only to be 3-bet by The Doc. I capped it when it came to me, and I'm pretty sure half the table came along.

By the time we hit the river, my AA never improved, and with a K and a J on board, and with the Doc betting me the whole way, I played it cautiously in case he tripped up. After I called his river bet, he proclaims "nothing" and I flip up my Aces.

"except a straight."

What? The Doc then shows QTo for a rivered gutshot K-high straight. Are you serious? Not only did he donkey his way into the pot by betting with air, but he then proceeded to slow-roll me with it!

A move like that could get one killed in Atlantic City, but at this game, the only way anyone was going to die was via laughter. I'm almost honored to say that, in my first meeting with The Doc, I got slowrolled by his straight and lived to laugh about it. Good times indeed. He later admitted that he didn't realize he made the hand until he actually looked at his cards; either way, it was still hysterical.

I hung around through both of the O games until we got to Stud, where PL tried to put on a clinic. He took down nearly every hand, although I was able to get nearly maximum value when I took my rolled 9s and turned them into a full house by 5th street. Other than that, he was the stud of Stud.

We fought our way through the H and the O's, where I lost a lot of my stack when a short-stacked Zeem doubled through me with Q3, but then I repaid the favor when I jammed my hammer against him and won. Note: I will never use the phrase "jammed my hammer against him" in any context ever again, but I'll leave it in that previous sentence, just to serve as a reminder.

Once we got back to stud, PL took over the table again. I tried to battle him with a couple multi-way draws that never got there, and by the time we were back to the third round of H, he had a pretty commanding lead. I won the sucker prize of $5 when he flushed me vs my overpair & no draws in Omaha. Eventually PL won vs Joshua, but I don't know how it happened, nor did I care. The game was dragging at that point, the drunken natives were getting restless for a cash game (mostly The Doc), and I pretty much lost all interest after the Stud clinic.

In the cash game, I managed to lose my first $8 buyin when The Doc played some kind of mind game against me in Pineapple, blatantly showing me he threw away second pair, telling me he was on the flush draw, and then betting when it got there. I put my last $4 in with TPTK, only to see that he indeed turned the nut flush. Crafty, indeed.

By the time the cash game was over, it was almost 2:30am. I had to be up in less than 6 hours to run a 5k around Greenlake, so I called it a night, as did most others. For the evening, I pulled a Waffles (which, with The Wife around could probably mean a number of horrendous things) and ended the night exactly breakeven. 7 hours of play, no money lost, and too many laughs to count. Blogger poker sounds like the new Pai Gow!

It was great to see everyone, old faces and new, and I hope to be the host of the next game very soon. And, sorry Doc, I won't be killing my cats.