Trying To Put Down The Crack

My eensy weensy bankroll on PokerStars is sliding up and down each day. I've doubled it then nearly dropped to zero only to bring it slight above what I deposited. I've had a decent cash streak in 1-table SNGs, but most of the cashes have been 3rds. What's kept my bankroll from growing even further have been the stupid 180 seat turbos that PS has.

I can't help but be sucked in by the beckon call of these things. $2, lots of action, and first place is 54x the buyin. I finished 2nd in one of these a while back but the started taking shots at higher buyins too soon and lost most of that profit. I keep thinking that I can take one of these down and give myself a nice jolt to my bankroll, but trying to wade your way through this minefield consistently seems nearly impossible. It's insane what hands these people will go to war with. For example:

PokerStars Game #23644300090: Tournament #132234347, $2.00+$0.20 Hold'em No Limit - Level VIII (150/300) - 2009/01/06 19:12:33 ET
Table '132234347 10' 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: saluki27 (7710 in chips)
Seat 2: cabnben (4635 in chips)
Seat 3: indelat (1812 in chips)
Seat 4: Zaft1 (2705 in chips)
Seat 5: 007hollyrock (4070 in chips)
Seat 6: mclarich (2735 in chips)
Seat 7: evilelvis13 (5878 in chips)
Seat 8: geeman29 (1335 in chips)
Seat 9: rados2312 (3955 in chips)
saluki27: posts the ante 25
cabnben: posts the ante 25
indelat: posts the ante 25
Zaft1: posts the ante 25
007hollyrock: posts the ante 25
mclarich: posts the ante 25
evilelvis13: posts the ante 25
geeman29: posts the ante 25
rados2312: posts the ante 25
rados2312: posts small blind 150
saluki27: posts big blind 300
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to mclarich [Jd Ac]
cabnben: calls 300
indelat: folds
Zaft1: folds
007hollyrock: folds
mclarich: raises 2410 to 2710 and is all-in
evilelvis13: folds
geeman29: folds
rados2312: folds
saluki27: folds
cabnben: calls 2410
*** FLOP *** [7h Qs 2d]
*** TURN *** [7h Qs 2d] [6h]
*** RIVER *** [7h Qs 2d 6h] [5d]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
cabnben: shows [Js 8s] (high card Queen)
mclarich: shows [Jd Ac] (high card Ace)
mclarich collected 6095 from pot

Beautiful limp-call here for 60% of their stack. Players fucking LOVE any two sooted cards in these games. Luckily this worked for me here, but this has been far from the norm. An 8 on the river or running spades would have been standard here.

Here's another gem:

PokerStars Game #23641738333: Tournament #132223304, $2.00+$0.20 Hold'em No Limit - Level I (10/20) - 2009/01/06 17:51:55 ET
Table '132223304 8' 9-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: kloens (1500 in chips)
Seat 2: embo1292 (1490 in chips)
Seat 3: EXALBE (1680 in chips)
Seat 4: VURN (1800 in chips)
Seat 5: Socke24 (1550 in chips)
Seat 6: NDH-SF (1180 in chips)
Seat 7: Rickyp1984 (1400 in chips)
Seat 8: mclarich (1500 in chips)
Seat 9: bonkers5 (1300 in chips)
Socke24: posts small blind 10
NDH-SF: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to mclarich [8d 4s]
Rickyp1984: folds
mclarich: folds
bonkers5: calls 20
kloens: folds
embo1292: calls 20
EXALBE: folds
VURN: calls 20
Socke24: calls 10
NDH-SF: raises 480 to 500
bonkers5: calls 480
embo1292: raises 990 to 1490 and is all-in
VURN: folds
Socke24: folds
NDH-SF: calls 680 and is all-in
bonkers5: calls 800 and is all-in
Uncalled bet (190) returned to embo1292
*** FLOP *** [7d Kc 8c]
*** TURN *** [7d Kc 8c] [2d]
Rickyp1984 said, "silly poker"
*** RIVER *** [7d Kc 8c 2d] [Qs]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
bonkers5: shows [Jd Qc] (a pair of Queens)
embo1292: shows [Ks Td] (a pair of Kings)
embo1292 collected 240 from side pot
NDH-SF: shows [Kd Qd] (two pair, Kings and Queens)
NDH-SF collected 3580 from main pot

I can understand wanting to play fast in a turbo game, but the action here is incredible. A 25xBB raise with KQd? The nice smooth call TWICE with QJo? The limp-shove with KTo? Am I missing something here?

Playing these things, with so many unpredictable players, doesn't fit well with my style of play right now. On the other hand, with so many bad players, I can't resist playing them anyways, even though I don't have the bankroll to handle the volatility of these things. Recent results show that I'm much more successful playing the 1-table games, but I keep coming back to these things. They're so fucking addicting.

Urgh.