Do You Expect Me To Hookup With You?

If you're playing on PokerStars and come across this avatar staring at you:








that's me. Alas, the name "mclarich" might give it away too if you're a loyal reader. But, if you don't know me, one might assume that the above picture is of me (obv it's not: it's a picture of Maura Davis of the band Denali), and likewise, I can understand something thinking I am female (some of my friends apparently make the same mistake when I am in a bad mood). But, without fail, at least a couple times a month, some sleazebag sees this beautiful image, thinks the picture is the player, and tries to spit some game at me:


Mr. Baz said, "why so serious mclarich?"
mclarich said, "?"
Mr. Baz said, "nuice smile with that pretty face would be great"

I understand that some people use chat to shoot the shit with other players, whatever. But trying to flirt with nothing but a picture of a girl at an online poker table? Man, guys are douchebags.

For the most part, I'll ignore it. Every once in a while, I'll tell them it's my girlfriend, but that's usually just another way to ignore it. But going forward, I'm gonna try to have some fun with it, just fuck around with people and see how desperate and retarded these guys are. Who knows, maybe I can use it to my advantage, maybe playing up the part of some lonely girl who doesn't know how to play poker, and bait some people into really bad calls. Always gotta look for that edge, right?