I Hate These Things

Fucking Cayne.

I did one of these already a couple of months back, so I'll try to list something different than before.

1. I work in the corporate office for the Northwest division of a leading national retailer. I won't tell you who, except that it's definitely not WalMart.

2. After toying with the idea of double-majoring in Business Management & Philosophy, I decided that would be pointless and just got the first degree, minoring in the second.

3. A couple of years ago, while hanging out in San Diego, I went with a couple of friends on a side trip to Tijuana. We ended up at a strip club where it only cost $1 to feel the girls up (and I'm not just talking breasts, either). Lap dances were only $10, and one of our friends needed a new pair of pants afterwards. It was at this strip club where, and I will swear this until I die, that at a table by himself, I saw none other than Enrique Iglesias. Dunno what he was doing trolling divey strip clubs in TJ, but I'm positive it was him.

4. Almost two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes. I'm taking steps to manage it but it's a long road ahead of me.

5. I'm completely terrified of being dead. Not dying, but being dead. Not existing. Sometimes, my mind will wander, and I'll start thinking about being dead, trying to imagine what it's like (I'm agnostic, so there's not much to imagine). The whole notion that, someday, even this world will ceast to exist, is too much to me to think about, and when I do, I sometimes break into panic attacks.

6. Some favorites of mine: Radiohead, Fight Club, pizza, The Stranger by Albert Camus, Fat Tire, Ireland

7. Almost two years ago, I flew home to AZ for Thanksiving weekend. I had just moved away from Seattle about 5 months prior, so I was excited to see my friends. I got in late Wednesday night & immediately met up with some of my good friends at my favorite bar. We threw back several Irish Car Bombs and other assorted drinks. I'd driven home more intoxicated than I was that night. My friend had just purchased a new Acura speedburner-type car. The last thing I recall before crashing into the telephone pole was trying to take a turn at 35 miles\hr after stupidly trying to drag race someone. Everyone survived except for the car. A couple broken bones, some bruised friendships, $4k out of my own pocket and some time in jail, it's pretty clear that was the worst night of my life.

8. I was at Game 6 of 1993 NBA Finals, Suns vs. Bulls. We had season tickets that year, so I caught all sorts of amazing games (rookie year Shaq bringing down the hoop, brawl vs. Knicks, etc.) I don't remember anything from the game other than Ainge leaving Paxson to double down on Horace Grant, then Paxson sticking that dagger into my heart from 24 feet away. I will never understand why you would leave John Paxson open to double against a layup from Horace Grant. That might have been the second worst night of my life. I'm a diehard Suns fan and I'm wondering if I'm ever going to see a championship in my lifetime.

9. I lived in Arizona all of my life until June 2005. That month I packed as much stuff as I could fit into my 98 Accord and left AZ for Seattle, WA. It wasn't quite as spontaneous as that sounds - I had planned it for about a month & had a job waiting for me, but it was still the riskiest decision I've ever made, and over two years later, it's probably the best one I've made too.

10. People say I look like Brian Posehn, or better yet, "that one guy from that one show". Google it if you don't know who I'm talking about.

Alan, you're up next.