So Much For That Idea

I used up both my tokens last night, buying into two MTTs at 7pm.

By 7:35pm I was out of both.

Only played one hand in the $26k. Got KK in MP and called a UTG raise to 95. 4 people saw the flop of J83 rainbow. Third to act, I bet out 250 or so into a 310 pot. UTG reraises me to 700. The only thing I'm worried about is a set here, but with the rainbow board, the reraise seems out of place. So I push, looking for that glorious early stage doubleup. He calls.

He shows KJ. He's drawing to two outs.

I think you know where this is going.

When the turn hits, I'm now looking for the river to show me the only card that can save me. It doesn't come. I'm now down to 50 chips and can't recover. GG me
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Simultaneously, I was playing my first ever MATH tournament. I chipped up slightly early on when I made broadway on the river with JT but didn't get any more of Chad's chips after the flop.

Was feeling comfortable until the $26k ended. I got tilted and proceeded to play as such. Woke up with QQ on the button yet didn't reraise Chad's MP raise. Haven't really played with Chad that much, but I respect what I know of his game, so that combined with my lack of clarity paralyzed me, and I played passively. Flop was K high, 3 spades, and I had the Qs. Turn was A, river was blank. We both checked it down and his KTo was goot. So many places to take the pot with a bet and I didn't.

Next hand, tried to represent a big hand with a raise from the SB with QTo. Bet the A high, two club flop & BB called. Check on the turn ruined any chance of carrying out the bluff. River was a blank and took a stab at the pot incase BB was on a flush draw. BB calls with QQ and I'm barely half the starting stack.

Limp 44, don't hit a set and fold to a bet. Would've taken the pot as the two left in the hand were on draws or high cards.

Dude from the QQ hand limps UTG and it folds to my BB. I raise it up with JJ. Bet the KT9, 2 diamond flop to see where my hand is at. He calls. Turn is a 9 and I'm done with the hand, and his pot size bet ensures that.

I'm not going out without a fight though. Raise from MP and get one caller. Push the 9 high flop and he folds. I show the hammer.

Limp 99 UTG. Turn gives me an OESD but I check fold to Hoy's bet. Chad calls, and I see the river, the J that I needed. Hoy showed 76 for bottom pair. I would've been goot but again played the hand passively.

Next hand, ATc in the BB. Folds to Hoy and he raised to 3.5xBB. Combine a read of a steal on his part and a case of the awfukits and I decide to push. His AKo tells me that was a bad choice. Flop a T but Hoy flops a gutshot Broadway that gets there on the river. He laughs, I say GG and go back to picking on $5 SNG donks.
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I was upset for a while afterwards for a couple of reasons. I let the KK hand get to me, and it got to me more than something like that normally would because I had this expectation built up that I was playing good enough to run deep. But the KK hand I couldn't control - I got my hand in as a huge favorite but it didn't hold up.

Trying to play the MATH afterwards was futile. Going in, I felt confident, but after the $26k bustout, I lost my confidence. Instead of playing solid, aggressive poker, I instead tried to play tricky. I went against every principle of poker that I know.

I cashed out most of my bankroll afterwards. I felt myself getting that tilt feeling again, the one that makes you want to jump up in stakes and try to recoup your losses, or just to feel better. I've still got some left to play around with until I can make another deposit. And I'll continue to work on my game to avoid these kind of blowups.

But it's just so goddamn disheartening when you think everything is finally starting to go well, and it blows up in your face.

Roll with the punches, I guess.